As we continue our message series, "Habits of a Healthy Heart," today we are focusing on the power of our words. This topic is crucial because words hold incredible power, which is why we should be slow to speak. The Bible emphasizes the importance of listening patiently and responding thoughtfully. In James chapter 1, we read:

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires" (James 1:19-20, NIV).

You see, words have the power to shape our lives in profound ways; they can bring healing and encouragement, but they also possess the ability to hurt. Therefore, they can build us up, lift us, inspire us, and even transform us. Words can be life-giving or life-taking. They have the power to help or harm, to build up or tear down, and the words we choose to speak have a profound impact on our hearts.

As we explore the habits of a healthy heart, we want to be grounded in the word of God. The Scriptures remind us in Proverbs chapter 18:

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit" (Proverbs 18:21, NIV).

Just think about that for a moment and reflect on this powerful truth: our words have the ability to create life or take it away. They can nourish a healthy heart or spread the poison of unhealthiness infecting our hearts as well as those around us.

Consider how God created the world; with the Word, He spoke it into existence. Genesis chapter one tells us that in the beginning: "God said, 'Let there be light,' and there was light" (Genesis 1:3, NIV).

In other words, God’s Word brought both life and light. In the same way, the words we speak carry incredible potential. They can bring life and light or darkness and destruction. Words can heal, or they can hurt. This is why cultivating habits of a healthy heart must include the words we choose to speak and hear.

Today, we are focusing on identifying healthy and unhealthy words, but first, I want to define what unhealthy means. In general, unhealthy refers to anything that negatively affects our well-being, whether physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. It includes behaviors, habits, relationships, or conditions that can hinder health and growth.

And so, unhealthy influences impact more than just our bodies; unhealthy influences affect our minds, emotions, and spirits too. In our culture today, and certainly in politics, if we were to identify one thing that is poisoning our souls, it is unhealthy words. Those words hold the power to demolish, to spread despair, because those unhealthy words are like venom-tipped darts.

If you have ever watched old movies, you might recall scenes where blowguns are used to fire poisonous darts that paralyze their target. In the same way, in our lives, unhealthy words often feel just like those darts. That’s why the Bible tells us:

"In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one" (Ephesians 6:16, NIV).

In other words, this isn’t just a playful analogy; it is a reality, and our faith is a defensive shield against the attack of the enemy. Our spiritual enemy is constantly shooting flaming arrows and invisible fiery darts at us, but God equips us with the shield of faith, urging us to take it up and block those destructive arrows.

In the same way, isn’t that exactly how unhealthy words work? They strike us, piercing our hearts, and the poison seeps in. Those unhealthy words can wound deeply, spreading negativity like venom through our veins and seeping into our hearts.

In fact, in Proverbs chapter twelve, the Holy Spirit provides a powerful contrast between unhealthy and life-giving words. Verse eighteen reminds us:

"The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" (Proverbs 12:18, NIV).

Reckless, unhealthy words pierce deeply, but wise and thoughtful words bring healing, restoring, and uplifting the soul. In the same way, Proverbs chapter fifteen tells us:

"The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit" (Proverbs 15:4, NIV).

This verse tells us that life-giving words nurture and heal, while unhealthy words crush and wound the heart.

Each of us can probably recall moments when reckless or unhealthy words left lasting scars. Sometimes it’s something that seems small, like, “Did you mean to do that to your hair?” Or a question laced with judgment, such as, “Why aren’t you married yet? I thought you would be by now.” Then there are words that pierce even deeper: “I never loved you.” “You’re such a disappointment.” “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” And it is those words that strike us like venom-tipped darts—they wound, crush, and hurt.

On the other hand, life-giving words have the power to transform and encourage. Words like, “I believe in you,” “You are so special,” “I’m so proud of you,” or “I’d marry you all over again.” These words breathe life and healing, nourishing the heart.

Growing up, I don’t recall my parents speaking many life-giving words over me. Most of what I remember were negative and hurtful comments—comparisons to others, like, “Why can’t you be more like so-and-so?” or criticism of my actions, which I’ll admit were often inappropriate. Those words left a lasting imprint on my heart, and it’s something I still wrestle with to this day.

Now, I really try not to fall into the same patterns I experienced with my own upbringing. I’ll be honest, I mess up more often than I’d like, but my heart’s desire is to speak life into my kids and protect them from developing a negative and critical spirit. That’s why I make it a point to tell them I love them—over and over again. Not just reminding them that God loves them, but making sure they know I do too. Honestly, I know I drive them crazy sometimes because they’ll roll their eyes and say, “I know, Dad.” But I keep at it because I believe it’s essential to speak life into their hearts.

You see, our words are incredibly powerful. They can either take life or give life. They can wound or heal. They can be unhealthy, or they can be healthy. And so, today, I want to explore two types of words: the words we hear from others and the words we speak ourselves.

One of the most important habits that we want to develop and nurture is the ability to guard our hearts against unhealthy words. While we can’t control what others say to us or about us, we can control what we receive and choose to believe. We can’t control the words that come to our ears, but we can filter them and decide what we allow to take root in our hearts.

The Holy Spirit gives us this powerful wisdom in Proverbs chapter four where Solomon writes as a father to his son, emphasizing the importance of guarding our hearts. In verse twenty, he writes,

"My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one's whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" (Proverbs 4:20-23, NIV).

Guarding our hearts against unhealthy words is essential because the heart is the wellspring of life. When we allow lies or negativity to take root, they poison our perspective and crush our spirits. And so, if someone speaks something untrue about you, protect your heart by standing firm in the truth of God’s Word.

If someone ever said to you, “You’ll never be good enough,” I encourage you to stand on the truth of Ephesians 2:10, which declares:

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10, NIV).

In other words, you are fearfully and wonderfully made; you are God’s masterpiece.

If someone has ever called you "worthless" regarding your past self, your sins, struggles, and limitations stand firmly on the truth of 2 Corinthians 5:17, which assures us:

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" (2 Corinthians 5:17, NIV).

This verse is a beautiful reminder that your past mistakes and failures no longer define you. In Christ, you have a fresh start, a renewed purpose, and the assurance of God’s love and grace. So stand firm and guard your heart against these lies, allowing God’s Word to shape your identity.

Identifying the unhealthy words and embracing the healthy life-giving truths of Scripture is an essential habit of a healthy heart because when someone says something about you that isn’t true it can hurt deeply. And people will say hurtful things, sometimes repeatedly, and it may even come from those you love and trust, but you are not defined by what others say. You are who God says you are, and so a healthy heart responds by rejecting the lies, refusing to internalize the poison of unhealthy words, and instead choosing to embrace the truth.

As Solomon said in the Proverbs, “Above all else, guard your heart.” Guard your heart against the unhealthy lies and words that try to take hold, and don’t allow them to take root. Instead, filter out the lies, resist the poison, block the negativity, and replace them with the truth of God’s Word.

We have discussed the words we hear and now let’s shift our focus to the words we speak. Here are two thoughts on the power of our own words: First, speak life-giving words whenever you can. To cultivate this habit, you will need to be intentional. When you feel tempted to express frustration or anger, and unhealthy words are on the tip of your tongue, pause and remember the Scripture that advises us:

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19, NIV).

In other words, take a moment to reflect and decide to speak life instead. In fact, in Ephesians chapter four, we receive this guidance from the Holy Spirit:

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29, NIV).

I want to encourage you to commit this verse to memory, let it guide your words, and shape your habits. In fact, here’s a simple but powerful habit to pick up, whenever you think something good, don’t hold it back but say it. Don’t deprive someone of the blessing of hearing life-giving words.

Right now, if you’re sitting next to your spouse, your mother or father, your son or daughter, or your brother or sister, take a moment right now and lean over and tell them, “I love you.”

When you think of something good, act on it. Share it, write a note, send a text, or look someone in the eye and speak the words. Don’t keep the blessing to yourself; let your life-giving words flow freely.

Here’s a promise: if you’re in a struggling relationship, I can guarantee there are more unhealthy words exchanged than uplifting ones. So, if your relationship with a spouse, sibling, child, parent, or coworker is strained, it’s likely that there are more jabs, hurtful words, and sarcastic comments than intentional words of encouragement because it is these unhealthy words that tear down and destroy relationships.

Therefore, we want to develop the habit of speaking life-giving words because these healthy words have the power to make a profound difference. The entire atmosphere of your household can change. Your relationships, your marriage, your workplace, everything can be different when you choose to speak words that bring life.

Not only should we speak life-giving words to others, but we must also speak them to ourselves and to our circumstances. Unfortunately, many of us get trapped in cycles of negative, self-defeating, life-taking talk. In our own minds, we tell ourselves things like:

"Why even try? I’m bound to fail anyway." "No matter how hard I work, it always feels like I take two steps forward and three steps back."

Or maybe, "I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this. There’s no way things will ever improve between us."

Some of you may find yourself thinking: "I’ll never get out of this hole. It feels like I’m just working to survive, not to live." You know, "What’s the point of this job? It’s just sucking the life out of me."

However, when we repeatedly engage in these negative and faithless thoughts, we dishonor God, who proclaimed,

“With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).

Consequently, this self-defeating dialogue poisons our perspective and undermines the habits that foster a healthy heart. Instead, we must embrace Jesus' teachings about faith and the power of our spoken words.

Look with me at what Jesus said to his disciples in Matthew chapter 17, verse 20,

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you" (Matthew 17:20, NIV).

Some of you need to stop talking about your mountain and instead tell your mountain about God because with faith and the spoken word, even mountains can be moved.

David gives us a powerful example when the Israelites were paralyzed with fear before the giant Goliath, but David saw things differently. He looked at the giant and declared, "He’s too big to miss.” You see, David didn’t just believe in God; he spoke words of faith over his circumstances. And in 1 Samuel 17:45, he boldly said to Goliath:

"You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied" (1 Samuel 17:45, NIV).

David’s confidence didn’t come from his own strength; it was grounded in the mighty power of his God. He spoke boldly and with faith because he believed that God was greater than any giant he faced.

Today, we don’t just believe in God’s power, but we want to declare it, and we want to make it our habit to speak life over ourselves and our circumstances. Some of you need to tell your giant about your God because with faith and life-giving words, you will find the courage to overcome even the biggest challenges.

Now, just to be clear so that you are not confused, I am not talking about what is known as “word of faith” theology. Some people call it, “blab it and grab it” or “name it and claim it.” It’s the belief that your words alone can create whatever you desire, as if you could simply declare, “I’m going to have a new car, in Jesus' name,” and suddenly, a new car appears. That’s not what I am saying, nor is that what Jesus is saying, that’s not faith, that’s foolishness. That twisted theology is a dangerous misinterpretation of Scripture.

Here’s what I mean: God himself assures us of the power and effectiveness of his Word. Speaking through the prophet Isaiah he emphasizes the significance of declaring God’s Word and standing confidently on his promises. Isaiah 55:11, says,

"So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it" (Isaiah 55:11, NIV).

This verse is a powerful reminder that when we declare God’s promises, we align ourselves with his divine purposes, trusting that his Word will accomplish exactly what he intends.

That’s what I am saying; I’m talking about aligning your words with Scripture, speaking words that reflect God’s promises because when we align our words with God’s Word, we invite his power to transform our lives. And so, we want to speak faith over our lives:

“I am created in Christ Jesus to do good works.” “If God is for me, who can be against me.” “I have faith as small as a mustard seed, nothing will be impossible for me.”

I am talking about speaking life over yourself and your circumstances by faith, declaring God’s truth over your life, and watching as he accomplishes what only he can do.

And so, we want to cultivate the habit of speaking life over ourselves, protecting our hearts from unhealthy words, and seizing every opportunity to speak life-giving words to others. As the Scripture reminds us,

“The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21, NIV).

We need to recognize the immense power of our words because the Bible teaches us that what we say has the ability to shape lives, whether for good or for evil, life or death, healthy or unhealthy.

I’m afraid some of you have been believing lies that simply aren’t true. You are not defined by what others say about you, so forgive the person who spoke those words over you. Stop rehearsing it and cleanse that poison from your heart because you are who God says you are.

If you’ve been telling yourself, "Nothing ever seems to go right in my life. I can’t catch a break no matter what I do.” Remember the Word of God through the prophet Jeremiah, which declares,

“I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).

If you feel like you have nothing and that you’re always going to be at the bottom, never at the top. Hold onto God’s promise, which says,

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness" (2 Peter 1:3, NIV).

Or if you’ve thought, "I never get the breaks, I am destined to struggle forever." Stand firm on the promise of Romans 8:28:

"In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28, NIV).

Speak God’s truth boldly over your life, replacing negativity and self-doubt with His promises. Even if they feel distant at first and you can’t see them or feel their impact, by faith declare God’s Word until it takes root in your heart and transforms your perspective. Because your worth and identity are not defined by the fleeting opinions of others but by the eternal, unchanging Word of God.

As we close, remember that your words possess tremendous power; they can either build up or tear down, inspire hope, or breed despair. I ask you to commit with me today to being a vessel of encouragement and a beacon of hope, choosing to speak life in every situation. Align your declarations of faith with God’s truth and watch as he works in supernatural ways exceeding your greatest hopes and dreams with his boundless love and grace.

Graphics, notes, and commentary from LifeChurch, Ministry Pass, PC Study Bible, Preaching Library, and Sermon Central. Scripture from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.