Today, we are concluding our series Altar Ego, based on the book of the same name by Craig Groeschel. Whether you're here with us in person or joining us online, we’re really glad you’re here today because over the past week, we’ve been talking about identity and the voices that shape how we see ourselves, as well as the difference between who we think we are and who God says we are.

Now, throughout the Bible, the altar was described as the place where people met with God. It was where sacrifices were made, and people would lay something down before the Lord as an act of worship and surrender. However, the word ego points to something different. It refers to how we see ourselves. It is our sense of identity, the story we believe about who we are and what we are worth.

The problem is that many people have the wrong view of themselves. Some think too highly of themselves and live with pride and an inflated ego, while others think too little of themselves and struggle with insecurity, believing they are not good enough, not capable enough, or not valuable enough. However, both perspectives miss the truth of what God says.

So, the goal of this series has been simple. We take our ego, what we believe about ourselves, and bring it to the altar. We lay it down before God. We surrender our pride, our fears, our labels, and our insecurities. In that place of surrender, something begins to change because we stop living by the identity we created and start living by the identity God gives us. We lay down who we think we are so we can become who God says we are.

Today, we're going to let go of our need for approval, and as we begin, I want to ask you a question. Do you like this topic? Are you interested in the series Altar Ego? Do you approve of it? Do you like how I’ve been presenting it? Am I doing okay so far?

Those questions might seem a little funny, but they also reveal something very real about the human heart. The truth is that every one of us wants to be loved, accepted, and seen as important. We want people to tell us, “You matter. You are doing well. You are enough.” That desire for approval goes deeper than most of us realize.

I’ll be honest with you; for as long as I can remember, I've struggled with seeking the approval of others. Early in my ministry, when I was serving as an associate pastor, I worked extremely hard. I studied, prepared, and poured myself into everything I did. On the surface, it seemed like dedication, and some of it was. But if I am being honest, part of what motivated me was the desire to gain approval.

I knew that God had called me, but I also wanted people to recognize it. I wanted people to approve. I wanted people to notice. And beneath all of that was something I didn't always want to admit: I was insecure.

Now, after all these years, you might think that struggle has completely disappeared, but the truth is it hasn't. I struggle with it almost every day, especially on the days I preach. Every Sunday after I get home, I have a moment when thoughts start creeping in, and I wonder, “What did everyone think? Did the message connect? Did people like it?” And the reason I ask those questions is because deep down, I still wrestle with that longing for approval.

I wonder if maybe someone here can relate, maybe you know exactly what that feels like. And so, let me give you three signs that you might be living for the approval of others.

Number one: You worry too much about what other people think.

For example, maybe you post something on social media, and you keep checking it because you wonder if anyone liked it. Did anyone comment?

Or perhaps you’re preparing for an event, standing in a closet full of clothes, saying, “I have nothing to wear.” You try on outfit after outfit, asking, “Does this look good?” because you're wondering what people will think. Will they like you?

Sometimes, it shows up in how sensitive we become. Twenty people might say, “I really liked your message today,” but one person makes a negative comment, and suddenly that's all I can think about. Twenty positive comments, but I focus on the one negative one.

Or maybe you’ve done this: you text a friend, and they don’t respond right away. Your mind starts racing, “did I say something wrong? Are they mad at me?” And when you care too much about what people think, it often leads to becoming overly sensitive to their opinions.

Number two, you might be living for the approval of others if you are willing to compromise your values.

In other words, there is something you believe deeply, something you know honors God, but you ignore your convictions just to gain someone’s approval.

Maybe a young woman loves God and has committed herself to avoid sin and stay faithful to her future husband, whom she hasn’t met yet. But, when a guy pressures her, she compromises because she seeks his approval.

Or a group of guys starts talking crudely, and instead of walking away, you laugh along with them because you don’t want to be seen as the religious one.

Sometimes it even appears in our finances. Deep down, you believe in living wisely, but you start buying things you don’t need with money you don’t have just to impress people you barely know. Before long, you find yourself compromising your values for the approval of others.

Number three, you try to please people instead of obeying God.

You believe Jesus is the Son of God. You believe he forgives sins, transforms lives, and makes people new. You have experienced his grace and know others who need that same hope. So, you want to tell them about God's goodness, but then a thought crept in—that you don’t want them to think you’re some kind of religious fanatic. Because of that, you often stay quiet, still longing for the approval of others.

Or maybe someone asked, “Can you help with this?” and inside you are thinking, “No, I am too busy, I am already overwhelmed,” but outwardly you smile and say, “Sure, I would be happy to.” Because you want to please people, you agree anyway, and later you feel resentment because you said yes when you should’ve said no. That is what happens when your desire for approval becomes stronger than the desire to live honestly before God.

Why do we do this all the time? Because our egos are insecure, and deep down, there is a quiet cry inside the human heart that says, “Like me, affirm me, and help me feel good about who I am.”

That desire for approval is powerful, pulling on us more than we often realize, and if we're not careful, we may overlook one of the most important truths about people pleasing and one of its biggest dangers. When you become focused on what people think about you, you gradually begin to lose sight of what God thinks about you.

In fact, the Bible speaks directly to this saying,

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe” (Proverbs 29:25).

The word translated as "snare" in ancient times was used to describe a hook placed in an animal’s nose so it could be controlled and led wherever the owner wanted it to go. That is the picture Scripture gives us. When we start living for the approval of others, their opinions begin to control our lives. Their praise lifts us up, while their criticism tears us down. Before long, we are no longer guided by God’s truth but are being pulled around by the opinions of others.

When people-pleasing takes hold of our hearts, it becomes a form of idolatry, placing the approval of others above God's opinion. It inflates people in our lives while diminishing our awareness of God, and suddenly their voices become louder than his.

Honestly, this might be one of the biggest limitations in a person’s life. If you're a parent whose main goal is just to get your children to like you, they might like you today, but they won’t respect you tomorrow. Your purpose isn't just to be liked but to guide them, correct them, and raise them in the training and instruction of the Lord.

The same principle applies to leadership in all areas of life. If you want to lead, you'll face moments when making tough decisions that others may not understand. Relying on everyone’s approval can prevent you from having the courage to do what's right.

And the same is true when it comes to following Jesus. You can't seek approval from both people and God simultaneously. At some point, you must decide which voice is more important.

So, how do we overcome this disease to please? Let me share two truths from the Scriptures, and then we'll ask the Holy Spirit to do a deep work in our hearts.

First, to overcome this, we need to focus on pleasing God rather than pleasing people. The apostle Paul said it this way:

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10).

In other words, Paul is saying that if my goal is to please people, I cannot genuinely serve Christ because these two cannot coexist. You can't live for people's applause and God's approval at the same time. Eventually, you must decide whose approval is more important to you.

Here's something I’ve learned over 25 years of ministry: you can't make everyone happy. One group will appreciate what you do, while another will criticize it. Some will support your decisions, and others will question them. No matter how hard you try, you'll never satisfy everyone.

Actually, last Thursday night I received a message on the church phone telling me how I could improve my leadership by using the gifts of the members. But here’s the good news: while I can’t please everyone, I can please God, and that realization brings freedom.

I want everyone to say this with me: I cannot please everybody, but I can please God.

Now say it like you mean it. I cannot please everybody, but I can please God.

Real freedom begins when you stop performing for the crowd and start living for an audience of one.

Secondly, live from the approval of God rather than for people's approval.

When this truth sinks deep into your heart, it can transform your life because, as followers of Jesus, we are not trying to earn God’s approval. Through Jesus Christ—his shed blood, his death, and resurrection—we already have it. Therefore, we are not striving for acceptance, because of Jesus, we have been accepted. And so, we don't live for approval; we live from approval.

Paul said it this way to the church of Thessalonica:

“We speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts” (1 Thessalonians 2:4).

Consider what Paul is saying: we are approved by God, and because of that approval, he has entrusted us with the greatest message in the world—the gospel of Jesus Christ.

What is the gospel? It is the good news that humanity is sinful, but Jesus was sinless. He humbled himself by coming to earth to seek and save the lost. He took our sins upon himself and died on the cross. On the third day, he rose again. And anyone who believes in him and calls on his name will be saved. In Christ, they receive new life.

And so, if you are a follower of Jesus and have received him, that’s what the Bible says,

“To all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12).

Therefore, if you have received him and believe in his name, you are approved by God and entrusted with that message. But if you are constantly worried about what others think, you'll struggle to share that message with the world.

You see, the reality is this: if you truly follow Jesus, not everyone will like you. In fact, if everyone approves of you, it may be a sign that you are not faithfully following him because the Bible says, “Everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Timothy 3:12).

In fact, rejection is common for believers. It is a normal part of faithfully following Jesus in a world that often resists God, but because of what Jesus has done, your worth isn't based on what people think of you. Your worth depends on what God says about you.

Someone needs to let that truth settle deep into your heart today. Your worth is not defined by the opinions of others. Your worth is determined by your Heavenly Father and what he says about you.

And so, the big question becomes this: Who does God say you are?

And the Bible clearly answers that question. Time and again, Scripture reminds us of who we are in Christ. When you belong to Jesus, your identity is no longer based on your past, your failures, or others' opinions. Instead, it is defined by what God says about you.

“You are a new creation in Christ; the old has gone, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

And so, in Christ, you are not defined by who you used to be. You are not defined by the mistakes you made or the seasons you regret. God says the old life is gone and the new life has begun.

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins” (Ephesians 1:7).

No matter what you have done or how heavy the weight of guilt may feel, God declares that through the blood of Jesus, your sins are forgiven. Your past no longer holds the final word over your life.

“You are more than a conqueror through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).

In other words, you’re not just barely making it or only trying to get through another day. Through Christ, you are more than a conqueror. His victory now becomes your victory.

“For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10).

And so, your life is not an accident. God created you with intention and purpose, and he has already prepared good works for you to do, because you are the light of the world (Matthew 5:14).

In a world that often feels dark and hopeless, the light of Christ shines through you. Your life has the power to point others toward love, hope, and truth.

“And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit” (Romans 8:11).

That means resurrection power lives inside of you and is at work in your life right now.

“You are heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:17).

Because you belong to Christ, you share in his inheritance. What belongs to him now belongs to you as a child of God.

“We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us” (2 Corinthians 5:20).

In other words, if you follow Jesus, you are his ambassador, and wherever you go, you represent him. God is making his appeal to the world through your life.

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what others think of you. What matters most is what God says about you. The Bible reminds us, “all of you are loved by God and called to be saints” (Romans 1:7).

Yes, you are loved by God. You are called by God. And you belong to him. He says you are made new, forgiven, chosen, empowered, called, and deeply loved.

When that truth settles deep into your heart, everything begins to change. You stop living for the approval of people and start living from God's approval instead. Instead of constantly wondering what others think about you, your heart becomes anchored in what God has already declared over your life.

No longer do you conform to the pattern of this world, but you are being transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).

And so your life is no longer shaped around the opinions, pressures, and expectations of the world because you have allowed God to transform you by renewing your mind and changing your way of thinking, so you begin to see yourself the way he sees you.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God” (Romans 12:1).

In other words, the Scripture says you bring your ego to the altar of God. You lay it down before him, surrendering your life, your identity, your pride, and your insecurities. You stop trying to define yourself by what people say and begin allowing God to define who you are.

As the apostle Paul wrote:

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20).

And when that truth takes hold of your heart, everything begins to shift; life stops revolving around me or around what others think about me, because what matters most is what God says about me.

You see, the quickest way to forget what God says about you is to become obsessed with what others say about you. When the voices of people grow louder than the voice of God, it becomes easy to lose sight of who you truly are.

So today, we lay it down. We lay down the opinions others have spoken over us. We lay down the labels people have placed on us. We lay down the expectations that have shaped how we see ourselves. We even lay down the lies we've believed about our own worth. And in their place, we choose to embrace what God says about us.

The truth is simple: I cannot please everybody, but through faith in Christ, I can please God, and so can you.

That is the life we are called to live, a life no longer controlled by the approval of people, but anchored in the unchanging approval of God.

Graphics, notes, and commentary from LifeChurch, Ministry Pass, PC Study Bible, Preaching Library, and Sermon Central. Scripture from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.